Am I who I think I am? When I think about my ‘self’ I get the impression that the facets of me that arise in my thoughts are real, tangible expressions of my personality. What fascinates me though is how many of those thoughts are patterns that have been cemented into my neural pathways, and whether the first instance of a particular thought was really ‘who I amI’ or whether it was a response to my environment at the time. Perhaps a fearful thought, an angry thought, or one of self doubt. I identified with that thought and captured it to become part of ‘me’.
But thoughts run through my mind all the time. I choose which ones I listen to and identify with. But I can change that too. Patterns of self doubt are particularly interesting. I doubt my ability to do something or be something. I could equally choose to grasp onto the thoughts of power and abilities and believe that is my self.
What I’m starting to comprehend is that I am none of those thoughts at all. All of those thoughts, those feelings, the strong emotions that blow me in one direction or another, are a part of an infinite canvas of experience that is available to me, but that I do not need to identify with.